We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
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