...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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