You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I bet he comes in French.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
