i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
