I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
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