My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
