I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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