Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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