You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
