If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
