just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
