Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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