apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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