My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
