Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
