it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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