i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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