chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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