And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
