I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
