No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
