Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
