covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
