I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
