I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
We were destined to go to rehab together
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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