singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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