She announced her abortion via fbk
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Randomize
