can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Sorry my hands just texted you
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
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