i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
