Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
