the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Randomize
