So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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