i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
