guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
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