the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
