ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
