What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
