We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
