are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Randomize