We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I touched a dick in church today
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