Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Randomize
