my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
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