He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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