i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
