my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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