i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Can you repeat that, but with context?
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
