i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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