just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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