a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
