Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Randomize
