Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
She announced her abortion via fbk
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
