I cockslap morals
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
