the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
