last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
